Yet Another Reason to Hate the British...

We just recently found out that they're only showing the Academy Awards over here on Satellite TV and then only at 2:00 a.m. Thus, we can't even nip down to the pub to watch them.

I wouldn't mind so much if they'd done the sensible North American thing and saturated all available media with ads warning you to get your satellite television NOW or you'll miss the Oscars.

But no, in the midst of all the media hype, no one thought to warn me that I wasn't going to be able to see them.

I probably would have broken down, given half a chance, and purchased the satellite service. I even went so far as to phone to find out the rates. I was informed it would take 10 days to set me up.

Why did these people bother having colonies if they're not going to learn from them?

It astonishes me that I have to shell out the equivalent of a North American cable fee for a TV license and then all I'm allowed to watch are shows like "Battersea Pet Rescue" and 8 million shows on how to do home renovations which all seem to advise you to turn your home into a cheap movie set of a bordello.

There is no intellectual wasteland like a foreign intellectual wasteland.

So far, the only worthwhile show I've found over here is called "Robot Wars". A bunch of seriously un-groomed geeks battle it out on prime-time National television with remote-controlled home-made robots. It is absolutely riveting. But then, in the absence of Wayne and Shuster or any decent fishing shows, one has to make do.

Caution: sudden topic change...

It has just come to my attention that if any of you hope to be the parent of a millennium baby it's time to throw away the condoms and start exchanging body fluids.

Happy Boinking,