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November 15, 2005
Wax on, Wax off
Tonight I am far more beautiful than I was last night thanks to the wonders of wax.
I'm also still in a small amount of residual pain. I had my back waxed for charity today.
It all began more than a month ago when a close personal friend of mine (I won't say her name to protect her anonynmity, but it begins with Z) had a bit too much to drink. She and her equally cava-saturated companion thought it would be a splendid idea to kidnap a six foot tall stuffed yellow bear. Said bear being the mascot of a children's charity. They took it down the elevator and into the car park and wheeled it out of the building balanced on Z-girl's bicycle.
Remour has it they then took photographs of the bear in compromising positions on a couch in an un-named location, no doubt with the intent of blackmailing the poor innocent (and inanimate) creature. I have not seen these photos but I wouldn't be surprised if they show up in the Sun or on Ebay in the next few days.
A few hours later when the tide of alcohol had ebbed somewhat in their brains, they realised that perhaps this wasn't the wisest plan and returned the 6 foot yellow bear in the dead of night. They left it wedged in the revolving door of the building they had removed it from.
The entire event was caught on security camera of course. And, as Z-girl had used her pass several times during the escapade to open locked doors, the crack security team was able to track her down with ease. She and her companion, and their boss, and the head of the charity, and various possibly heavily armed security types all watched the cc-tv footage together. This could have been a career-ending moment. Fortunately, the footage was amusing enough that, instead, the pair were coerced (blackmailed possibly -- oh, the irony) into raising £10,000 for the charity in question.
To help them reach this goal I agreed to have all the hair waxed off my back in exchange for sponsorship money. Everyone who sponsored me got to watch. Apparently, it was a surreal event. They had lined up a number of victims for this ploy and booked one of the meeting rooms in our office building. And so it was, that at 3:45pm this afternoon, I lay face down on a table in a posh meeting room with my shirt off and about a dozen people sitting around. They chatted and watched as a woman I'd never met before swabbed hot wax onto my back. She applied patches of cloth to the wax and then ripped them off, eventually rendering me dorsally glabrous.
It is not an experience I am keen to repeat.
Although, who knows? We'll see what kind of reaction I get from the charming spouse tonight in the bedroom. I am awfully smooth now.
Posted by YandaMan at November 15, 2005 11:34 PM
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