Just arrived in Tokyo. I'd ordered a phone for the trip and it was waiting for me at the desk. I'm just testing it out by posting a picture of my lunch. It's very tasty but I have no idea what any of it is.
May 2005 Archives
First Japanese lunch
The Licky Stick
Hair and Toes
Eurovision 2005 play by play
Eurovision 2005
Party PC
The Licky Stick
Hair and Toes
Eurovision 2005 play by play
Eurovision 2005
Party PC
The yellow thing in the picture is a cat toy which Marcus's cat greatly loves. It was given to him along with various other items by a friend who bought it in Japan. As you can see, it is beginning to wear out. I have been tasked with finding a replacement while I'm in Tokyo. So, please, if you know of a pet store in Japan that sells something like this, please let me know.
Just got my haircut. Yasmine got her toes done at the same time. This is a picture of the two of us. Sadly, my haircut doesn't show up all that well in this picture. But look at Yasmine's toes! Aren't they great?
The haircut is because I'm off to Japan on Monday for ten days. My oldest and dearest friend Derrick is getting married. Actually, he's already married. He eloped in Beijing with a beautiful Japanese woman 37 years younger than my mother-in-law. Despite the Chinese wedding license (which neither of them can read), they're having a proper ceremony in a Shinto Temple in Tokyo. And I'll be there! Hee! Hee! Hee!
Hungary
Eurovision 2005 starts with a lord of the dance inspired irish-hungarian clog-hopping number. The lead singer is a fetching young woman wearing half-trousers half-shorts with one leg exposed. A fine beginning.
UK
Imitation Beyonce. She has the same dress, similar moves, great voice, smaller butt.
Malta
I have never seen a more hideous colour. It's a mix of pomegranate and blood orange. A very unfortunate choice for such a large lass. The song is easily the second best so far.
Romania
I'm sorry. I know I watched it, but I can think of nothing to say. A non-appalling performance.
Norway
Freddie lives! Glam rock lipstick-wearing male lead singer in a lowcut silver catsuit and an Aerosmith headband.
Turkey
Turkey transcends terrible. If only it was Thanksgiviing we could chop off all their heads with an axe.
Moldova
Their song is called "Grandma Beats the Drummer". That's got to be worth something.
Albania
Best Albanian pop song I've ever heard.
Cyprus
The lead singer is now holding a giant q-tip. What a terrible song. How I wish I could jam that q-tip in my own ear.
Spain
A trio of very colourfully garbed women singing very very fast. Full marks for speed. Minus several hundred for musicality.
Israel
What is Israel doing in this contest anyway? Someone please explain how Israel is part of Europe. On the other hand, the lead singer is gorgeous and her dress is flatteringly minimalistic.
Serbia and Montenegro
No wonder the Balkan States are always warring. They can't even agree on a name. And what's up with the Former Yugoslavian Republic of Macedonia? What kind of name is that for a country?
Denmark
A cool crooner in a slighly purple suit and red shoes.
Sweden
Totally Vegas! In a Tom Jones Barry Manilow kind of way. The background dancers are kind of Elvis Vegas, but thinner with firmer cleavage.
FYR of Macedonia
See the entry above on Serbia and Montenegro. I'm ignoring them until they rename the country.
Ukraine
Two male background dancers come out in handcuffs. They break them to symbolise the newfound freedom of their native land. The lead singer is startling in his sheer drabness. Male pattern baldness, beard, mildly pudgy. He looks like a drunken middle manager in a kareoke bar, except sober.
Germany
The lead singer has taken the Hungarian fashion of one limb exposed and applied it to her top half. Someone has stolen one arm from her jacket. Oh, and her blouse as well. Good thing she's wearing a nice bra.
Croatia
See! Now that's a name! Nice and simple. Lots of vowels
Greece
The lead singer is wearing Beyonce's dress as well. Maybe she and Javine are sharing it.
Fantastic! She's been lifted up to a dancer's shoulders and has stretched out the suspenders of the dancer in front of her and is air-violining them with a giant fake bow. Cool!
Russia
Well, the singer is almost naked. That's about the only positive thing about this number.
Bosnia and Herzegovina
Hey! One of them is wearing a tutu! I and several of my colleagues are planning to wear tutus on the London to Brighton bike ride. But again, a country that can't decide on a name deserves no respect in the pop music world.
Switzerland
The Swiss have once again proved themselves the most boring nation in Europe.
Latvia
Two saccharine sweet young boys doing a ballad. I am strongly considering sticking a finger down my throat. And now they are signing the words for the benefit of the deaf members of the audience. Very multi-talented, these muppets. Come to think of it, what a fantatic way to watch Eurovision -- Stone Cold Deaf!
France
Thank God, this is the last one. Time for the vote.
The Winner
Greece! I guess I wasn't the only one who loved the air-violin trick. Personally, my favourite was Sweden followed by either Norway or the UK. The UK finished in 22nd place, beating only France and Germany. Oh well, there's always next year.
You can see the full results and videos at http://bbc.co.uk/eurovision/.
You can also see the results and 30 second clips of the videos on your mobile phone at http://bbc.co.uk/mobile/eurov/. Or, if you are in the UK, text "Eurovision" to 81010. You should receive a text back containing the link. Note that the text will cost you 12-15p depending on your network operator. See http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio2/eurovision/2005/the_show/wap.shtml for more info.
Yay! Eurovision is on tonight! Those non-Europeans amongst my readership may be unfamiliar with Eurovision, which is a shame because it is the finest sporting/cultural event in the world.
Each European country sends their cheesiest unsuccessful popstar to battle it out in a wonderfully kitsch TV variety show watched by 150 million people all across Europe. Everyone votes for their favourite act and based on those votes each country assigns points to the top 12. It is forbidden to vote for your own country.
The whole thing is presided over by a lovely curmudgeon of a DJ, the delightful Terry Wogan. Terry is astonishingly rude about all of the acts and regularly despairs at the rather predictable voting that goes on (e.g. all the Baltic states tend to vote for each other). He also reportedly drinks vast quantities of Bailey's during the show.
Many people have Eurovision parties during the show. I'm in Birmingham with Vicki and we're having a very small Eurovision dinner do. The original plan was to have one course and one alcoholic beverage from each country. However, as there are 24 countries in the final we were worried such a menu might possibly result in our untimely death. And, while I am a fan of Eurovision, it's not quite how I want to cash in my chips. I can just picture St.
Peter asking, "Cause of death?"
"Um... Overeating and alcohol poisoning while watching scantily-clad europopstars on TV."
He probably wouldn't even bother to reply. He'd just wrinkle his nose in distaste and pull that big lever and I'd plummet down to Hell.
So we're just having stilton soup and port to support the UK, perogies to support the host nation of the Ukraine, broccoli and wild rice casserole to represent Canada (not sure why, really, as they aren't even allowed to compete), and spinach and strawberry salad because...
...well, because the colors match the flags of several European countries. Most of which (Belarus, Bulgaria, Ireland, Portugal) admittedly didn't make it through to the final. There's Hungary, though. Thank God for Hungary. Go Hungary! Go spinach and strawberries, that great Hungarian dish!
You, too, can join in the fun and see the videos online at http://bbc.co.uk/eurovision/.
Last year I wrote a running commentary of the show which you can see at http://www.yandatime.com/archives/000215.html.
There is a party going on on top of my monitor. I don't know where all these crazy characters came from, but they seem to be having a good time. Not too many girls at the party. Although, i suppose the sheep might be female. My God! What kind of party is this! Damn perverted kung fu midgets!