Farts Like Gold: 9 -- Shopping for Jeans

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I woke up once during the night and took another percocet. I didn't get out of bed until noon. The first thing I did was to take another bath. After that I spent a good fifteen minutes shaving with my left hand. It was surprisingly easy if I just took it slow. It felt a little awkward but somehow it was calming just to concentrate on the simple motions needed.

I had clean underwear and socks and a clean tee shirt but that was it. My jeans, in particular were filthy. I tidied up all my stuff and went downstairs.

"Morning," I said to the guy at the desk.

"Morning," he replied.

"I'd like to keep the room until at least Saturday, if that's okay," I said.

"No problem."

It was bright outside and warm enough for me to take my jacket off. The traffic and the crowds of people were a bit of a shock. I couldn't get over how shiny everyone looked. All of the woman looked absolutely beautiful. A woman walked by in a purple skirt with bare legs. They gleamed like pink stainless steel. I shook my head and tried to concentrate on the cars driving by. There was a red Volkswagon Golf and a blue Honda Civic. They were shiny as well and very small.

I had breakfast in Uncle Albert's - pancakes, bacon and eggs, toast, and hash browns with coffee and orange juice.

I crossed the street and looked for a new pair of jeans at Army and Navy. They were all a bit too cheap and crap looking though. I felt I needed a bit of a splurge. I checked out a couple more stores and ended up buying a pair of black Levi's at Divine Decadance for $50. I put it on the visa.

"Actually, do you mind if I change into them here and wear them out?" I asked the girl behind the desk.

"No problem," she said. She was pulled the jeans out of the bag she had just put them in and cut the tags off with a pair of orange-handled scissors.

"Thanks," I said. I went into the changing room and emptied the pockets of my old jeans onto the chair: wallet, swiss army knife, lighter, room key, and a few twigs and bits of moss. I took off my old jeans, gave my thighs and calves a good long scratch, then put on my new black jeans. They felt and smelled great. I put everything from the chair but the twigs and moss into my pockets and flung open the curtain of the changing room with a fourish.

The girl behind the counter looked a bit startled but then smiled. She gave me a bag for my old jeans and I went out onto the street.

I wandered around a bit, soaking up the sunshine until I found a quiet coffee shop with an empty table on the sidewalk.

>> Farts Like Gold: 10

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