"Tony man, We're up!" I picked up the coffee and was about to knock it back when I remembered my run-in with the bouncer. "Is it hot?" I asked.
"It's definitely hotter than the beer," said Tony.
"Of course," I said. The world was getting clearer and clearer. I poured the coffee into my empty beer glass and topped it up with beer from the pitcher. What the Hell. They were both going to the same place. I sipped. The taste was irrelevant. What I needed was the chemical effect and not to burn my mouth. "Perfect!" I finished the glass.
"So, what can you play?" I asked.
"What do you mean?" asked Tony. "I play the bass. I told you that."
"No. What songs do you know?"
"Oh. Ah. I can play the Lemon Song," he said.
"The Lemon Song?"
"Yeah. You know. Led Zeppelin," said Tony. He played some air guitar in front of me. "I should have quit you," he sang. "long time ago..."
I shuddered. "Are you sure you can play the bass?" I asked.
"No," said Tony. "That's what we've been talking about all night. I'm not sure at all. Maybe I can. Maybe I can't. It's been one of the formative dilemmas of my life."
"Right. Right," I said. "Let me put it another way. Do you think you can sing?"
"Oh," said Tony. "No, I'm certain I can't sing."
"Thank God!" I said. "You are absolutely right about that. Let's go. We're on. I've got you a bass. It's all golden. Take the jug."
I made a bee-line for the stage. Somehow I ended up at a table to the left of the stage. Fortunately it was sturdy and I was able to push off from it and propel myself towards the girl with the pink head.
"Lemons!" I told her. "I'm going to sing about lemons!" I flung my arm back towards Tony. He stood directly behind me holding the pitcher of beer. "That man needs a bass. We're a team."
Tony addressed the girl in pink and Antennae Man. "Do you know The Lemon Song by Led Zeppelin?"
The Antennae Man nodded. He leaned back and said something to the other band members.
The girl in pink turned to the crowd. "Are you ready for some Zeppelin?" she shouted. There may have been a response from the crowd. It may have been something like a cheer. I was focused on getting onto the stage. It seemed ridiculously high. Somehow Tony was already up there and Antennae Man had found him a bass.
I turned around and gave a little hop and landed sitting on the stage. I let myself flop backward between the mike stand and one of the monitors. I rolled onto my left side and crawled forwards until my knees were fully on the stage. When I stood up, Tony handed me a piece of paper. "What's this," I said.
"It's the words," he said. "Just in case."
"Good thinking," I peered at the paper. "You've got very neat printing," I said. "Tony, are you sure these are all the words? There aren't very many of them. What am I supposed to sing when they run out?"
"Don't worry about it," he said. "Do you remember the song?"
"Yeah, I think so," I said.
"Well, just ramble and repeat yourself a bit."
"Of course!" I said. "It's rock and roll! Rock on, baby!" I peered out at the lights. "Pink Girl! Give me my mike! I've got some lemons to squeeze!"
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