Yanda Time

August 11, 2005

Banff is Beautiful

(More Pics of Banff)

The Tour de Yanda has now gone global. I'm in Canada now and have managed to log up some K on three different bikes in two different provinces.

First there was my Father in Law's, Willi's, bike. This took a bit of work to get up and running. Oh, and just to be clear... I didn't mean to say the bike belonged to my father-in-law's willy. My father-in-law is named Willi. Apologies for any confusion. Anyway, this was an ancient beast of a bike with tires as wide as Jamie Oliver's tongue. I put about 50km on it on country roads near their place by Devon, Alberta. It's a pleasant enough area but nowhere near as nice as the Rocky Mountains.

The day after we arrived in Edmonton, the four of us (Me and Vicki and my in-laws and all associated willies) went off to Canmore to spend three days in the mountains. That's where the pictures linked above were taken. I think I may add Canmore to the shortlist of places I might want to live in if I returned to Canada. The thing I like about it is that it has all the beauty and charm of Banff without the tourists. So, if you are a fit, gorgeous, mountain-climbing, mountain-biking, outdoorsy type, feel free to visit. But if you are a bloated, rubbernecking, couch potato tourist, please restrict yourself to Banff.

Sorry, that came off a bit harsh. Anyway... Canmore -- it's lovely; don't go there.

And really, no matter where you stay, everyone should visit Banff National Park. It is truly one of the most wondrous areas on Earth. I'm sure somewhere in the universe there is some place more beautiful, but I think Banff might be tops for this planet.

I rented a bike for a day while we were in Banff and basically rode it to Canmore and back. I'd love to spend some more time riding around the Rockies. The roads are great; much wider than anyone's tongue. The mountain bike trails are great. The views are incredible. The hills might be a bit much, and it strikes me that places to stay might be a bit few and far between along some stretches, but I suspect it would a fantastic trip.

Anyway, I'm in Victoria now, which has been on my shortlist of places to live in in Canada for some time now. This is partially because I have a number of family and friends here, so it might not be for you. On the other hand, it is already swamped with bloated, rubbernecking, couch potato tourists, so feel free to come by no matter who you are.

I've borrowed my aunt's bike which is unbelievably comfortable. It's got a huge seat with a shock-absorber seat post, cushy front shocks, and handlebars so high I feel a bit like I'm riding a chopper. It feels like I'm riding a lazy-boy down the road. Speed is not its main virtue. Still, I managed to sneak in a 38km ride yesterday, mainly because Victoria is so beautiful you can just cruise along for miles without really noticing the time go by.

By the way, it's Vicki and my anniversary today. Feel free to donate to the Tour de Yanda in lieu of a card or gift. And, really, as it is our anniversary, I should stop twittering on and go give some good loving to my lady wife. Ciao.

Posted by YandaMan at 5:14 PM

July 2, 2005

Canada Day

Yesterday it was Canada Day and I spent last night thinking a lot about what it means to be Canadian. One of the defining characteristics of the Canadian psyche is an insecurity about who we are. Canadians are terrified they are secretly just Americans who know the difference between a poutine and a toque. I've heard a number of definitions over the years:

"A Canadian is anyone who can make love in a Canoe."

"A Canadian is someone who says sorry when you step on their foot."

"A Canadian is a sanctimonious twit whose greatest pride is that they aren't as bad as their neighbour."

I think the first two are things to be rightly proud of. I'm not so sure about the third.

Now I consider myself a Canadian. I was born there. I lived there for 34 years. It will always be home. And I guess to me, a Canadian is

1. Funny in a goofy, self-deprecating way
2. Almost sickeningly polite
3. Frost Tolerant
4. Generous
5. Environmentally aware
6. And, yes, a teeny bit smug

However, I recently read a book called While Canada Slept - How We Lost Our Place in the World which destroyed many of my beliefs. It is all about how we as Canadians have this image of ourselves as a fair nation, an exceptionally generous nation, and the World's leading peacekeeper. This was certainly true once, but it is no longer, despite the fact that it is what most Canadians want to believe about their nation, myself included.

In 1950, along with Britain, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, India, Pakistan, and Ceylon, we helped create the world's first aid programme for the developing world. The intention of the Colombo Plan (no relation to the famous disheveled detective) was to help the people of the Southern Hemisphere lift themselves out of poverty.

In the 1970s we were one of the first nations to commit to the target of giving 0.7% of our GDP in foreign aid to the developing world. Every Canadian government since then has renewed that promise at every election. Despite this, and despite consistent public support for such a commitment, Canada's levels of foreign aid have dropped drastically in recent years. In 2001, the Canadian government contributed 0.22%, its lowest level in 37 years. Eleven other countries including France, Great Britain, and Germany have already reached their 0.7% commitment or have timelines for doing so.

No wonder Bob Geldof told Paul Martin to stay away from Gleneagles. Martin was, after all, Canada's finance minister throughout this decline.

And let us not forget that Canada is the only country attending the G8 to have a budget surplus, its 7th in a row. Personally, I'm a bit embarrassed by this. I'm proud of the fact that Canada has a surplus. Admirably frugal. Admirably sensible. But I'm embarrassed that it was ranked 19th out of the 22 countries in the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development in terms of foreign aid.

And the aid that we do give often has strings attached. Canada's food aid policy is 50 years out of date and was originally designed to clear markets of surplus with little thought on the effect this might have on the recipient country. According to a recent Oxfam Briefing Paper:
"Canada is the world’s second largest food aid donor after the USA in terms of per capita donations. Its food aid policy is also the world’s second most restrictive, requiring 90 per cent of the budget be spent on the purchase and shipment of Canadian commodities. Only the USA, where virtually all food aid is tied to US purchases, is more restrictive."

This is called "tied aid". In simple terms it's like saying, "we will give you money to buy food for your people, but only if you buy it from us." This has two serious side effects. It damages more local markets for food. It can create bizarre scenarios where farmers just a few miles away from an area of famine can't sell the food they grow. It also means a large proportion of the money allocated as food aid actually gets spent on transport. According to the same report,
"Of the $165m budgeted for 2005, $66m (40 per cent) will be spent not on food, but on shipping."

Canada used to be the World's diplomat. It took an active interest in the rest of the world. It has a history that all Canadians should be proud of. And right now, there is an opportunity for Canada to reassert itself on the World stage. The Live 8 concerts and Make Poverty History campaign have sparked a renewed interest in helping eradicate the injustice in relations between the Developed and Developing worlds. I happen to think Make Poverty History is a good initiative. It has three basic principals:

1. More and Better Aid
2. Trade Justice
3. Cancel the debt of the 32 poorest countries.

Cancelling this debt would cost Canada about $100 million a year through to 2015, or about $3.33 per person per annum.

There are a number of books out at the moment discussing the debt issue. One of the better ones I've read is IOU: The Debt Threat and Why We Must Defuse It.

And if you want an eye-opener about how Canada rates environmentally, take a look at this environmental comparison of Canada's performance against other OECD nations . I'll give you the quick executive summary. We are ranked 28th out of 29. In other words, Canada sucks monkey gonads when it comes to the environment.

In short, I think the Canadian government has let me down. Somehow it managed to brainwash me into thinking they were doing a good job with the big issues, but really they have been a bit crap. For me, that means I have two tasks.

1. I need to pressure whatever government I have any influence on to make sure they don't screw up the big issues.
2. I need to put my money where my mouth is.

I can't just sit idly by and wait for the governments of the world to spend my tax money sensibly on foreign aid and development. And so I've decided to set my own goals and ensure I spend at least 1% of my income on charitable donations which will benefit others, particularly those in the developing world.

With that in mind, I've decided to cycle the Tour de France to raise money for the Red Cross.

Well, I'm not actually going to cycle the exact same route. Unlike certain Texans, I don't have the luxury of pedalling around the French Countryside while my rockstar girlfriend pays the bills. I'm just going to see how long it would take me to cover the same mileage as Le Tour -- 3608 km. I'll do my best to keep up with the peleton but I'm going to have to fit my riding in with work and having a life and stuff.

Posted by YandaMan at 11:18 PM | Comments (1)

January 8, 2005

Irene's 90th

(more pics)

Contrary to what you might think, the dapper gentleman pictured above is not my Grandmother's lover, but her brother. These pictures were taken in August. The main reason for our trip was to attend her 90th birthday party. She's a grand woman, my grandmother. She really is one of the best people I've ever known.

My loudest aunt hosted a grand party with 90 green helium balloons floating around the ceiling. My gran had prepared a multi-page speech which was typically wise, funny, and demanding – she quizzed us all in her speech. My question had something to do with the Battle of Hastings, I seem to recall.

Vicki and I wrote a number of beautiful poems. Sadly, it is now several months after the fact and I can't remember any of them. I'm pretty sure they were thoughtful, brilliant, and touching though.

There were postcards and letters and well-wishings from around the globe, and a grand time was had by all. I just wish I hadn't sat on the photos for so many months. I'm looking forward to her 180th.

Posted by YandaMan at 12:05 AM | Comments (1)

January 7, 2005

On Heather's Farm

(more pics)

These pictures are from the summer. I'm still catching up a bit from last year. As stated previously, it's all Gracie's fault. The necessity of keeping my needlepoint work from my sister meant I had to stay away from the keyboard for fear of spilling the beans.

Anyway, while we were back in the Canada in August, we visited an old treeplanting buddy named Heather. She and her husband Lamont run an organic farm on the Saanich Peninsula of Vancouver Island. Their place is called Northbrook Farm and they supply organic vegetables to various local restaurants and are part of a home delivery service called Saanich Organics. If you live in the Victoria area, you should contact them for all of your daily gourd and rutabaga needs.

While we were there we helped her pick melons and beets. You smell melons to tell if they're ripe. I didn't know that. Now, every time I see a pair of melons I like the look of, I stick my face right up to them and take a deep breath. Mmm... Melons...

Beets are trickier. We were picking "small beets". Apparently restaurants are quite picky about what a small beet is. I figure if it's smaller than my head, it's a small beet. This wasn't good enough for Heather, however, and a large proportion of my beets went to feed the chickens.

I like Heather. She's fun. In fact, I like her so much we were almost engaged once. Well, actually, we just told people we were engaged. I've never even kissed the woman, never mind smelled her melons. It was a long time ago and it was at my 16 year high school reunion and Vicki was out of the country and so Heather and I went as a couple and lied to a huge number of people I used to call friends. You can see details about the whole shoddy affair.

And now she's a farm girl and lives in a house heated by boiling magma deep beneath the surface of the Earth. It's funny how people change.

Posted by YandaMan at 6:16 PM

January 2, 2005

BJ and Little Johnnie Stout

Sweet Creator of Elvis's hips! This blog is becoming a dry and dusty expanse of procrastitory voidliness. I blame it on Gracie, my new niece. I could blame it on work or life or myself, but those are common targets for my finger-pointing. Gracie is brand new. I doubt she's been blamed for much of anything yet.

Actually, in a way, it's also BJ's fault.

Every year since I was 15 I've made the same New Year's resolution -- not to live a boring life. It's a bit vague, admittedly, and I work at it about as hard as most people work on their New Year's resolutions -- i.e. not at all. Usually, life itself just foists itself upon me so I don't worry about it. Every once in a while, however, someone comes along who reminds me that really I could be a bit more interesting. BJ is one of these people.

In August I visited my mother in Victoria, Canada. My stepfather was also there. This is rare as he has spent most of the last year working as a paramedic in Iraq. He's another person that makes me feel my life's a bit dull sometimes. So, anyway, both of us were in the garage talking about manly things. (Jeff is pretty manly; my mother is not -- so the only part of the house that is really his is the garage.)

They live in kind of townhouse development so all the garages are next to each other. BJ is their neighbour. She was a singer in a band in the 70s that had at least one big hit and was married for a time to someone who is still big in the music business in Canada. She pulled up outside the garage in her new car, a PT Cruiser convertible. The top was up and we could see her moving around inside the car, laughing and running her hands all over the inside of the car, but we couldn't hear what she was saying. She wore a leopard-skin pillbox hat and cateye sunglasses and looked to be some indeterminate age between 45 and infinite. It was the first time I had ever seen her. Finally, she threw the door open and leaned out.

"I've had this car for over a week now and I still don't know how to roll down the windows!" She laughed.

Jeff and I ambled over and peered inside the car. He, being the more manly of the two of us, soon spotted the window switch. We introduced each other and BJ said, "How do you like my car? It's a gift from a man, you know. I'm a kept woman. It's fantastic being sexy!" Then she disappeared into her own garage.

That night BJ came by for a few drinks. She absolutely monopolised the conversation from the minute she came through the door. I was completely jet-lagged but I couldn't go to bed. I had to stay up and see if she ever drew breathe. She'd just returned from the Toronto Film Festival and was filled with anecdotes of plastic surgery disasters she'd seen and tales of country singers licking frogs. She was considering some plastic surgery herself. The mystery man who'd bought her the car offered to get her anything she wanted for Christmas and she was thinking of asking for a boob job. "Or maybe I'll just take the money and buy myself a flat panel TV as big as my living room wall. That way we'll both have something nice to look at when he comes over."

The only time BJ paused was when Jeff was talking about his experiences in Iraq. I went to bed a shaken man determined to follow a new and exciting path in the morning.

But what path to take... I can't sing and even if I could, it was probably too late to become a faded rock and roller. Taking a job in Iraq would definitely fit the bill adventure-wise, but, to be honest, the idea scared the bejesus out of me. I needed to find some new occupation that would be creative, challenging, hold a moderate risk of blood loss, as well as being totally unexpected. The answer, obviously, was needlepoint.

My sister was pregnant and all the women in the family were putting together a quilt with a nursery rhyme motif. I immediately volunteered to do a square. I got Little Johnny Stout. He occupied much of my holiday. And sure enough, it seemed to add a spark of interest to my otherwise hum-drum existence. You wouldn't think, in this enlightened age, that the sight of a man doing needlepoint would cause much of a stir, but it did. Suddenly all those anecdotes about mortars flying into the compound and movie stars having the brains of virgins injected into their butt cheeks didn't seem nearly as fascinating, at least not when contrasted with the site of a burly hunk of man-meat like myself doing satin stitch.

Next year I plan to take up finger-painting.

Posted by YandaMan at 11:10 PM | Comments (1)

November 6, 2004

Happy Birthday Gracie

Well, actually, she was born at 10:10pm on 4 November. They cut her out of my sister with a knife as the winds swept over the frozen tundra in Edmonton, "Gateway to the North". She weighs 7lbs, 1oz. Not my sister, of course, who, last time I saw her, must have weighed about a million pounds. She was huge! Of course, that was before they dragged another human being out of her belly.

The kid is named Gracie. I'm pleased with this. I was first told she was named "Grace" which I'm not sure I really like. It's kind of... well... girly.

Gracie, though, that's a cool name. Gracie has tons of friends and climbs trees and plays sports and eventually gets a job as one of those people who reconfigure the matter transfer beams between Earth and TMR-1C.

Posted by YandaMan at 8:40 AM

September 6, 2004

Vancouver Surprise

(more pics)

I'm just about to head back to Merry old England but I thought I would post some pics before I left Canuckville. We cheated slightly this trip and actually spent a day in a city that contained no relatives. It was a kind of a missed anniversary thing; we were in different cities on our actual wedding anniversary. We couldn't spend the entire time on our own so we called up a few friends that had just moved to Vancouver from England and arranged to meet for breakfast.

One of these was my friend C. At her leaving party she begged me to introduce her to a hunky lumberjack in a plaid shirt. I couldn't actually think of any marriageable lumberjacks I was still in contact with so I emailed my friend D who at least is Canadian, single, and owns a chainsaw. He's also currently working in Beijing, but no matter. I suggested to D that he should email C, and suggested to C that she should email D. I never heard back from either of them and so assumed that both had chickened out. I'd introduced each of them to more than one person via the magic of the interweb so wasn't surprised that they appeared to have ignored me this time.

This was not the case, however, and both had been conducting a lively correspondence behind my back which culiminated in D suggesting to C that he take her out for coffee. Apparently he had holidays he had to take and figured he might as well pop back to Vancouver. She pointed out that I would be in town at the time and that we could all meet up together.

The morning dawned wet a gloomy and Vicki and I decided to begin our day like true Vancouverites and went for a run through Stanley Park. It was a just light drizzle, nothing too serious. I knew that C's new flat was near Stanley Park so I called her up from Lost Lagoon and suggested we come by to see it.

"Ack! No!" she said. "It's a complete mess! Give me 20 minutes to clean up!" As soon as we hung up, she called D and he rushed over to our place. Meanwhile, Vicki and I had a leisurely coffee and then went over to C's.

And so when we went into C's flat, there was Derrick. This completely blew me away because I thought he was in Beijing.

We had a great breakfast and a great day together. After B.C. Bennies at the Elbow Room, the six of us (joined by the Pidges) introduced C to the magic that is Mountain Equipment Co-op. The poor woman owns no gortex. WTF! We then rounded out the day with an extended coffee session.

Posted by YandaMan at 9:02 PM

October 6, 2003

Dr. Bush

A while ago, my tiniest boss asked if I had any pictures of myself back in my old life. And today, I ran across this lurking on my hard drive. I believe it was taken in 1992 at the airport in Fort Liard, Northwest Territories, Canada. I'm pretty sure we were on the way into the bush at the time to start a month-long treeplanting contract. I think the laurels were courtesy of a woman named Ursula. One of the fabled Wall Brothers used to rant about the loveliness of Ursula's belly at great length.

Damn, I was a groovy-looking dude! I may have to revive the 'tache.

Posted by YandaMan at 6:30 PM | Comments (2)

September 3, 2003

Save the Snowbirds

A concerned citizen has written to point out to me that the Snowbirds, a Canadian acrobatic team whom I saw recently in Victoria, are in peril. Apparently, they are only funded through to the end of 2006 at which time, unless you act now, their jets might be replaced by propellor-driven aircraft or possibly even decommissioned horses from the RCMP.

Now, I've been on some entertaining rides in a Beaver but I can't imagine they'd be as exciting to watch as a jet.

Posted by YandaMan at 4:49 PM

August 23, 2003

5th Wedding Anniversary

(more pics)
My charming spouse and I celebrated five fantastic years together last week by blowing the cost of a small yacht on dinner at the Connaught in London. We each had the prestige menu which consisted of:

* A selection of Italian breads and salamis
* Ham consomme with anolini
* Tomato mosaique wiht marinated goats' cheese
* Roasted fillets of John Drory with herb gnocchi, roasted artichokes, smoked red wine sauce
* Carmelissed Gressingham duck breast with baby leeks and Scottish girolles, port wine sauce
* Selection of seven sorbets and ice creams (we finished them all)
* Lemon pannacotta with blueberries and thyme
* Almonds powdered with chocolate and fresh cherries
* Accompanied by way too much booze of various sizes, colours and flavours.

Damn tasty, it was too. But we won't be doing that for five another years at least. Maybe ever.

Not that I think the marriage won't last another five years. I just mean we might be a little more circumspect (or broke) from this point on.

Posted by YandaMan at 8:39 PM | Comments (1)

Edmonton: Dinner at Dad's etc.

(more pics)
After surviving the trial by fire, we arrived in Edmonton, went for dinner at my Dad's, and then I stayed up 'til 5am writing a teleplay for a BBC contest called Undercover. My first attempt ever.

The house pictured above, however, is a picture of Vicki's folks' place.

And then we packed and went to Russ and Heidi's Wedding.

Posted by YandaMan at 8:25 PM | Comments (2)

August 19, 2003

On the Road in the land of Fire

(more pics)
Vicki's parents came down to the coast for a brief holiday and drove us back to Edmonton. We planned to take the Northern Yellowhead highway but it was blocked by huge forest fires.

I was expecting the traffic to be horrific but it wasn't too bad, actually. All in all, a very pleasant trip. I even managed to survive two days in the back seat of a car driven by my mother-in-law ;-)

Posted by YandaMan at 10:34 PM

Birdman

(more pics)

My Aunt's family has a bird named Dusty. Despite the overwhelming photographic evidence to the contrary, Dusty didn't particularly like me. I have no idea why the two of us were such a irresistable photographic subject, but obviously we were.

Dusty doesn't like it when you sneak up to her cage in the middle of the night, throw back the cover and yell "Boo!". She tends to fall off her perch and slam onto the bottom of the cage, flappying noisily and squawking.

I didn't do this, but one of my blood relations did. Proof that little girls are not composed exclusively of sugar and spice and all things nice.

Posted by YandaMan at 6:14 PM

Quiet Pics from Victoria

(more pics)

Just posting the pictures from the Victoria bit of our recent trip to Canada. Gorgeous weather. I bought myself a racquet and played a lot of bad tennis, ate a lot of burgers at Barb's and lazed about. It amazed me how quiet it was there. My mother lives near Ogden Point and there seems to be no traffic along Dallas Road after 10pm. And I don't think I heard a single siren all week. It made me terribly worried that Victoria has no emergency services. Although, come to think of it, I did see a couple of paramedics on bicycles. That's it though. No police, no fire trucks, no ambulances, no SWAT team.

On the other hand, there was very little screaming and smashing of bottles outside my window at night. It was all very alien compared with Dalston.

Thank God, dinner at my aunt's was a typically noisy affair. It reassured me my ears were working.

Posted by YandaMan at 4:24 PM

August 12, 2003

Russ and Heidi's Wedding

I'm just about to hop onto a jet plane to fly back to London, but I thought I'd post these pics from Russel and Heidi's wedding. It was an extremely convivial affair at a Bible Camp alongside Sylvan Lake. I was the MC and was way too busy having fun to take many pictures.

We arrived on Friday night, chatted with friends, roasted some hot dogs around the fire and went to bed just as a fantastic huge thunderstorm hit. There were about 150 people at the wedding. We shared a cabin with two other couples that we knew from the old treeplanting days and three kids who belonged to one of the other couples.

The wedding was on Saturday morning in a gorgeous grassy field. The weather was perfect. Then there was lunch. Then canoeing on the lake, and volleyball, and badminton and bocce and croquet and many kids running around and cute teenage boy cousins flirting with cute teenage girl cousins and old farmer uncles laughing with old farmer aunts and just life at its most comfortable and vivid.

And then there was dinner and my debut as an MC which wasn't particularly auspicious but also not a complete catastrophe. And then I had too much to drink and danced like a loon and dropped not one, but two of the female guests on the ground. Whoops. Fortunately, neither of them seemed permanently damaged. And then there was bed and then the hangover and then the cleanup and then the farewells and the long drive back to Vicki's parents.

All weddings should be at least three days long, I've decided.

Posted by YandaMan at 12:09 AM | Comments (1)

August 2, 2003

Cooked Goose

It's forest fire season here in Western Canada. There have been evacuations, homes burned down, and highways closed because of the fires. We could see the smoke when we were flying over the interior of B.C. Pretty nasty stuff.

One of these terrible fires couldn't help but bring a smile to my lips, though. Apparently, a fire near a trailer park in Metchosin was caused by a goose which flew into some power lines.

Yes, the reality of it is pretty unpleasant. Big fire. Thousands of dollars of damage, environmental catastrophe, very surprised goose dying a painful death -- all terrible things. But still, the cartoon image of a goose slamming into a high-tension wire, bursting into flame, and then plummeting into the forest to ignite a raging conflagration is somehow amusing.

"Honk... Honk... Honk... BAM! Sizzle! Whomp!"

"Look Ma! The lord done provided us with a bountiful feast!"

"Well, I wish he'd taken the time to pluck the damn thing before putting it in the oven."

"Oh Shit! The Woods are on fire! Get in the truck Fergal; we're getting the hell out of here. And, Fergal, take that goose with you. I'm starving!"

Posted by YandaMan at 5:15 PM

August 1, 2003

Snowbirds

More pics...

We got into Victoria on the evening of July 30th, settled into my mother's place, then walked along the seawall towards Clover Point to watch this mini-airshow put on by the Snowbirds air acrobatics team.

I'd never actually seen a show like this and I was more impressed with it than I thought I would be. The setting probably helped. We watched from a cliff overlooking the Juan de Fuca Strait with the Olympic Mountains in the background. Unfortunately, I kept having all these news clips run through my head of tragedies at other airshows where two stunt planes collide and then pinwheel into the crowd killing dozens of blind arthritic nuns.

Fortunately, nothing like that happened. No planes crashed. No nuns were killed, and it was a gorgeous evening.

Posted by YandaMan at 2:43 AM | Comments (2)

July 31, 2003

Pix from the Plane

more pix...

Just arrived in Victoria for a couple of weeks to visit friends and family. It was fantastically clear weather on the flight so I actually managed to take a few pictures from the plane that looked like something. Man! This is a big empty country.

The route took us over Greenland and down through the north of Canada near Rankin Inlet and over Fort McMurray to a refueling stop in Edmonton before continuing over the Rockies to Vancouver. From there we caught a ferry to Victoria.

Posted by YandaMan at 11:53 PM

April 21, 2003

Trip to Canada Pix - the final batch

Visiting the relatives on the Wet Coast

Back in Edmonton

And a 1.8mb minute and a half long quicktime movie of my old boss describing a treeplanting party involving large quantities of Butter (apologies if it doesn't work on your machine).

Posted by YandaMan at 7:04 PM

April 8, 2003

West Coast Regrets

I think I’m running about a week behind schedule. Right now I’m on a plane from Victoria back to Edmonton and I’ve just realized I’ve spent the last 15 minutes planning exactly what I want to do when I get to Victoria. Where I’ve just been. The horrifying realization has popped into my head that I had all these grand plans stored somewhere in my head and forgot about them all until it was too late.

I must have been more stressed than normal approaching this trip. It didn’t really feel that way, but this flight (10 days into my holiday) feels like the first time I’m ready to start having fun. Too bad I have to be on a plane to London in less than four days.

I had a pleasant enough visit with everyone, but it felt in retrospect like I spent an inordinate amount of time watching bad television.

Victoria’s a beautiful, laidback city. I should have tried harder to fit in. Why didn’t I spend more time sitting in coffee shops swathed in polar fleece and goretex? Why didn’t I steal more flowers from stranger’s yards? Why didn’t I go to Wings night at the Swiftsure? Why didn’t I visit my friend Heather on her allegedly gorgeous, albeit steep farm? Why didn’t I go sea-kayaking? Why didn’t I smoke any drugs? Why the Hell didn’t I write a single word while I was there?

I guess it wasn’t a complete disaster. I did go running along the seawall a couple of times. Played a few sets of tennis. Spent some quality time with the maternal familial line. I quite like the West Coast branch of my family. My maternal grandmother is roughly 2000 years old and is as spry and enthusiastic as toddler. It must run in the family. My mother seems to have stopped aging about fifteen years ago. And then there’s my Aunt Wendy’s family who are just cool, generous, lovely people. My aunt in a particular is a delight. She belches louder than any human being I've met, possibly louder than any other land mammal.

I can see the praires through the airplane window now. It may seem odd to some but they always fill my heart with an enormous sense of homecoming. It hits me even stronger when I'm driving. Every time I spend a while cooped up by those damn mountains and then slide down the foothills into the praires the openness hits me with a big 'whump' and my eyes fill with silly sentimental tears.

Sure is ugly though.

Oh well, time to deplane.

Posted by YandaMan at 6:41 PM

April 3, 2003

Trip to Canada Pix - First Batch

Currently on holidays in Canada wielding the digital camera like a weapon.

We had a six hour stopover in Minneapolis and took the opportunity to check out the fabled "Mall of America", supposedly a rival of "West Edmonton Mall" in the city of my birth. I'm here to tell you that there is no contest. We made a brief visit to West Edmonton Mall today just to confirm that it kick's MOA ass and that is, indeed, the case. As big soulless malls go, WEM is better than MOA which feels like a gigantic warehouse they stuck some shops and a couple of roller-coasters into.

Anyway, here are a few shots of the missus and me enjoying a delicious repast at the Stampede Steakhouse in the Mall of America whilst being entertained by some people dressed up as Peanuts characters pretending to sing Country and Western songs.

After our steaks, we jumped on our connecting flight to Edmonton, which was uneventful except that our luggage got soaked with hydraulic fluid during the flight, always somewhat disturbing. You'd think most hydraulic fluid in an aircraft would be needed in some way and it would be bad to waste it painting the passengers' luggage. No matter. We lived. And were met at the Thoms residence with champagne. We'd been up for more than 25 hours at that point so the real party didn't start until breakfast.

After breakfast we went for a walk over to the C's house. When we got there, no one was home except for Little Grannie Annie and the dog.

The next day we went for another walk in the woods, and when we got back we burned some stuff. The weather up until today has been not too bad, just above zero and cloudy. It is however, pretty butt-ugly this time of the year. Dingy is the adjective that shouts for attention everywhere, barely heard above the ominipresent foghorn of GREY. Today, it's gotten a bit colder: 7 below, and started to snow again. Oh well, I'm off to Victoria tonight. Should be warmer there.

After burning stuff, I popped into town to have coffee with some friends. Another friend of mine, Roy, whom I dearly love, was supposed to meet us there a bit later but the original place we went to was closed due to smoke damage. (Uncle Albert's Pancake House, next to it, had recently burned down -- very sad). There was a note telling me (and him) to go across the street to another coffee shop (the 1912, if you're interested). I saw the note. He didn't and spent the next hour wandering around. I could have called him but I'm used to having a mobile phone in my pocket at all times and was paralyzed with panic at how to cope without it. Anyway, I'm pretty sure he must hate my guts now and so that's another friendship down the tubes. Shit.

Fortunately, there were some friends there whose lives I didn't ruin. And I went off on a tour of Ken and Miranda's New Digs. They've bought a bakery that they're going to turn into a Garden shop. It's not quite there yet but it's full of cool stuff, including an old Honda trike from our mutual treeplanting days. My God, those things were a danger to all and sundry. But fun in a deadly kind of way.

And then K and M and I went over to Russell and Heidi's for dinner.

And yesterday we went to my Dad's for dinner. It was tasty and my dinner companions (being relatives, all) were distinctly odd. But in a good way.

Posted by YandaMan at 12:37 AM | Comments (1)

January 13, 2003

The Liard and Socks

"The Liard, she leaves no survivors", an old river rat named Vic told me my first season up there. I hated Vic. I’m glad his trailer blew up.

This used to be my office. I planted trees up and down the Liard river valley from 1991 to 1998. Those summers were the most vivid of my life. Everything was amplified a thousand-fold. Life mattered back then. Food mattered. Sleep mattered. Socks mattered!

God, I loved my socks in those days. I remember a woman once gave me a clean pair of socks when we’d been in the bush for more than two weeks. I can’t remember the occasion but I remember it wouldn’t have been more significant if she had offered me a diamond ring. And the socks were far more comfortable and practical than any bauble ever could be.

Posted by YandaMan at 12:04 AM | Comments (1)