August 5, 2006
How to Make a Caipirinha
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A Caipirinha is a cocktail made with cachaça (Brazilian rum), limes, sugar syrup, and crushed ice. I made some fantastic ones when we were on holiday in Italy, but a week ago I made a batch which were far from perfect. I've done some experimenting lately and have decided to share with the world my recipe for making the perfect Caipirinha.
Sugar Syrup
Some people think the rum is the most crucial ingredient in a Caipirinha. These people are fools. They have tiny tiny brains and are only one evolutionary step above trout. Do not listen to them. Sugar syrup is the key to a good Caipirinha.
Fortunately, sugar syrup is easy to make. The key is to wedge as much sugar in the water as possible. And this is where we need something called science. You can't just go about shoving grains of sugar into a cup of water as you would clowns into a tiny car. Water and sugar are completely different states of matter. One is a liquid and one is a solid. Clowns and cars are both solids, and, in fact, both begin with the letter "C". This makes it easy to combine the two.
In order to get sufficient sugar into the water you need to apply heat. Do this carefully, without arousing suspicion. Pretending to make tea is a good ruse. Pour yourself a big mug of boiling water. Simply omit the teabag and milk. Just keep adding sugar and stirring until no more sugar will dissolve. This will probably be far more sugar than you think. Recently, through careful science, I discovered exactly the correct proportions. I started with 150ml of boiling water and began adding sugar in small increments, one tablespoon at a time. After four tablespoons of sugar, it looked like the rate of dissolvamentation was slowing so I switched to adding sugar in 1/2 teaspoon increments. This turned out to be premature. I finally reached the saturation point 18 measures later by which time I was well and truly bored and my wife was convinced I was insane.
Anyway, you need roughly 2 parts of sugar to 3 parts of water. I.e.
150ml of water
100gm of sugar
Now that you've made the sugar syrup, put it into the fridge to cool.
Limes
Remember to wash your limes! It may be less of a hazard for some of you, but for me, living as I do with the crazy landlord, I can't be certain that any fruit in the house hasn't been involved in some kind of filthy sexual highjinks.
You should only need one lime per Caipirinha. Cut it into eighths. You can do this with a hatchet or a knife. Chainsaws are not recommended. Place the eight pieces of lime in a large sturdy mug. Add one shot of tasty rum, preferably cachaça. Add 60.13ml of chilled sugar syrup. Then take any large lump of wood (once again, make sure it is very clean) and muddle the limes with it. The technical term for muddling is "smushing".
Ice
You need shaved or crushed ice. I like to use ice in interesting shapes like penguins or pieces of lego. It's a bit pointless really because they get smashed beyond recognition. Maybe I just harbour a secret hatred of penguins. I don't know. It's just more fun.
Note that shaving ice can be quite tricky. I advise against whittling. For one thing, to properly whittle, you need to be in a rocking chair on a porch in the deep south of America. The heat in such an environment will make your ice melt in your hands and you will cut your thumb off. There is also a danger that the Caipirinha will be tainted with the smell of hound dog and engine parts.
On alternative method that works quite well is to put the ice in a plastic bag and wrap it in a clean piece of cloth such as a towel or evening gown, and then smash it with something heavy like a tuba.
Finally, fill a glass about three quarters full with crushed ice and pour the muddled concoction of rum, lime and sugar syrup over it. Hold it up to the light, sip it, and smile. You have just made the perfect Caipirinha.
Posted by YandaMan at 11:19 PM | Comments (3)
July 28, 2003
Measure Global Distances
The above link lets you measure the distance between any two points on the globe using a number of different references, such as place names or latitude and longitude (which you can get from sites like http://www.streetmap.co.uk/). I suppose it isn't much of a surprise such a service is available on the web. But what is cool is that it's hosted in Bali 7770 miles from London.
Another interesting tidbit… If you accidentally type http://www.streemap.co.uk instead of http://www.streetmap.co.uk you get "Hanky Panky College" which is surprisingly different from StreetMap and seems to have nothing to do with cartography.
Posted by YandaMan at 5:27 PM